Can Danika Save USA Motorsports?

I hate to put that kind of pressure on anybody but smarter people than me are working on it. Don’t let the size of the package fool you, Danika Patrick could shoulder the weight of pimping the IRL and NASCAR simultaneously. There is no still way she is going to a full time cup ride next season.

Failure is not an option for the Danika Brand

Should Danika choose to leave the IRL completely imagine how many fans will follow. When you don’t have many left the impact could be unsettling at best.

With the short season the IRL runs any driver could do a mini stock car program and who better than the most famous personality in the sport today.

She may be better looking to the male fans but Mrs. HH thinks a few of the guys are hot too. Racing has never been about the best looking car or driver but the podium finishes.

Tiger Woods and Michael Jordon are marketing Gold but I don’t see anyone clamoring to put them in a Cup car.

In reality Danika is just a race car driver. She is good at it and has the skills. I wonder why we ask so much more from her.

Retirement Sucks

I tried to walk away from racing “cold turkey”. I can’t do it. I think I miss the smell the most.

NASCAR Needs A $500 Car

Racing is supposed to be fun but it’s not so much when the grass roots racer is spending his kids college fund or his retirement account (if there is any of that left) to do it. Most local tracks have some type of beater event either weekly or as a special event and the organizers of the 24 Hours of LeMons have taken the concept to the next level.

It’s a simple idea, take a car that you spend $500 or less to buy and  prepare (safety equipment is exempt) and go racing. As their witty name implies yes race fans it’s a 24 hour race. Expanding to 10 events scattered across the country in 2009 there a good chance there is one within driving distance of you.   2008/2009 LeMONS EVENTS

All you need to do is read the humor laced Rules Page to get the idea these events are about fun. With time out penalties for idiot drivers to a “Go on Your Roof Gone for the Season” death blow to a driver you’d think they covered everything. Naw, they’re just like NASCAR they are free to make it up as they go, 1.1: Organizer Decisions: Organizer’s decisions are final. If you don’t like it, tough. Get your own race.

Cheaters may as well stay home this is a “claimer race” and organizers can buy any teams car for the $500 limit after the race. For those who must operate in the gray area they have my second favorite rule. I think Bill  France Sr wrote rule 4.4.1

• 4.4: BSF Factor: To prevent cheating, all cars will be inspected by
  a panel appointed by the organizers. At that time, all teams will be
  given an opportunity to describe the car’s purchase and prep. If the
  panel believes the limit set out in Rule 4.1 has been exceeded, it will
  assign a Bullshit Factor (BSF) equal to one BSF per ten dollars above
  the limit. The entry will be docked one lap for each BSF assigned. (Ten
  dollars = one BSF = one lap.) Entrants are encouraged to bring all
  supporting evidence and make up plausible-sounding stories in advance.
• 4.4.1: Appeal of BSF Panel Decisions: Get real. There’s no appealing this decision. You’re boned.

Probably everybody’s favorite moment comes when competitors and pit pass holders vote on what car is the biggest cheater on the track.. The winner? gets pulled off the track and has 30 minutes to remove safety gear then as the video below shows there will be no mercy.

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HammerHands won’t be driving a race car but I am lucky to have this fun sounding weekened coming within a 2 gallon round trip drive in the motorhome in 2009. See you there!

Evernham Downsizing

Not the Gillett-Evernham team, at least not yet but Ray is taking his cash and investing it in dirt. Taking Brian France’s call to get back to our roots to heart Evernham is buying East Lincoln Speedway a 3/8 mile clay oval track located just north of Charlotte in Lincoln County. Other than “going to have a little fun” Ray and his partner Bob Mack of RPM Group Holdings have a pretty simple idea. “It’s a nice Saturday night place,” Evernham said. “That’s my plan: to keep it a nice Saturday night place.”

For more on this story read the entire article at the LINCOLN  TIMES-NEWS

You can see a few pics of the track on race car driver Josh Wright’s website.

NASCAR 2009 Preview Part 1

There really isn’t much need for a crystal ball to see what NASCAR 2009 will look like. “Plus ca change, plus c’est la meme chose.” Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr – 1849. The more it changes, the more it’s the same thing.

Expect empty seats, flat TV ratings and a healthy dose of the same drivers in the Chase at season’s end. Carl Edwards did his best to make it interesting but seriously, can anyone catch that Jimmy and Chad combo? Maybe, but you still have to pass ‘em to beat ‘em and if you can’t, that still leaves you second.

Richard Childress, never the best quote in the garage nailed it a few years ago, “I can’t afford NASCAR to save me any more money.”  The first supposed big savings to come in 2009 is the testing ban. Please, does anybody think the top teams aren’t going to get cars on the track? In 2007 Roger Penske was considering spending $21million to build a test track behind his race shop, to save money! Apparently the neighbors had issues; they thought that endeavor could produce noise, fumes and smoke.

Jack Roush also toyed with the idea but has since abandoned those plans. When asked if that option was still on the table he said “I have neither the money nor the inclination to build a test track.” After being left behind in testing the COT for 2008 expect him to follow suit when the first team hits the testing trail. “If we could organize a situation where all the established teams could hold hands and resolve not to test outside of the NASCAR mandated or approved testing, not go to the skid pads, not go to Canada, not go to Pikes Peak or any of the places they are checking on,” he lamented, “I’d be happier with that than to skirt around.”

Always politically correct Jeff Burton tried to temper the obvious with his last sentence on the topic, “There are a lot of unknowns. I’ve never been a part of the sport when testing was banned, so I’m not sure of the consequences of that. I do believe that testing is a way for a struggling team to improve. But I also believe we’re in severe times, and we need to have severe actions.”

In this instance if severe means shortsighted or desperate I would agree. There are many other changes that could have been made with a little work to modify testing and keep it fair but NASCAR took the easiest way out. Ban testing and take credit for appearing to save teams money.

Mike Helton must have drawn the short straw and got the duty to drop this turd of PR crap. “We don’t know what the number is per team, we don’t know what the collective number is for the industry,” We do know, or have a pretty good feel through the due diligence we’ve done, that it’s in the range of tens of millions [dollars] to the garage area.” There is one major flaw with the logic. Let me explain.

I used to get a $5 coffee every morning until my wife sponsor decided to reallocate those funds. In NASCAR’s world Coffee Hutt saved me 5 bucks a day. Sorry NASCAR, you can’t save me money if I have none to spend. To take it one step further, Coffee Hutt closed and all my co workers with cash have to go out of their way to get a latte now. They pay $9 but are happy to get it at any price. I struggle thru my mornings on 50 cent vending machine coffee while my wealthier espresso fueled co workers work circlesaround me and I can’t compete.

Despite the doom and gloom in the rest of the world there are a few NASCAR teams with some cash to spend and like all good businesses they invest it, in growth. Translation: That means acquiring more money to put us in position to make more money. While the rest of the field is looking for ways to find cash NASCAR is daring the ones with it to spend to get rubber on the road no matter the cost and the rest fall farther behind. The top team owners won’t stop spending or making money unless they stop printing it.

In other words NASCAR needs you field fillers and thanks for coming but we all know you are just ego teams and “By the way: Thanks for coming.” The Top 35 rule guaranteed 35 teams a spot in the race. The Chase made 12 teams all that matters. If you’re not Chase worthy you’re not Money worthy.

What would HammerHands Do?

Put telemetry in full time and be done with it. Run you’re carburetors (Merriam-Webster: Function: noun Date: 1896) and V-8’s if you must but if you want it fair and save all of the teams money let them run it on race day too. This testing ban is the toe in the water to allow telemetry to be run next year during Friday practice, expect that announcement in the next few weeks. What else are the teams supposed to do with the investment there, turn all those computers into Video Game laptops to give to the laid off engineers for Christmas? It’s time NASCAR went all in for a change and accepts the technology that runs the sport. The fans deserve good racing and are more than willing to accept computers in stock cars.

Newsflash to NASCAR: The illusion the cars we root for are remotely like what we buy and drive has long passed, we get that, you should also.

The Economy “I’m Innocent”

HammerHands received an exclusive e-mail from The Economy and he is tired of taking the blame for everything. While admitting he has been a little weak lately he assured me he has been working harder than ever to stay in shape.Here is the NASCAR related part of The Economy’s E-Mail.

Mr. HammerHands,

Let me start by thanking you for sharing my side of the story. The media has been killing me and all that Negative Nellie talk has done is make people lose confidence in my ability. No one remembers all my good years. I rebounded faster than anyone ever expected after the tragedy of 9/11 and by comparison NASCAR was hardly impacted at all. When I’m on my “A” game everyone is a financial genius and the money flows like ***#%. [Ed. Note- Was lots of curse words before he finally said MONEY!! The Economy loves his cash to flow]

He continues:

I will be contributing several billion dollars next year as usual to NASCAR’s pie and I really have no say in how that is divided up. My investment in this fine sport has not changed or wavered for decades. Sure I’m having a hard time right now but if you take a closer look at NASCAR there are quite a few happy people. They won’t admit it, but I bet they smile when they deposit one of those big checks My Economy provided them.

Here’s the bottom line, hey I’m a money guy I’m all about the bottom line. I’m giving more money next year to NASCAR just like always. How the people spend is not up to me. I apologize to the fans for the other part of my job not being up to par that may have put a squeeze on you but I’m not the goat here I’m the scapegoat. Those running and participating in NASCAR need to figure a way to slow the spending and stop asking me for ways to find more. As much as I like NASCAR I do have other things to fix right now.

Respectfully Yours
The Economy

WOW! What an exclusive, it’s not often The Economy feels the need to explain himself. He also agreed to answer a few questions and respond here if you have an opinion please comment.

October- Fire Prevention Month

I thought of all kinds of smart ass witty comments to make about the fire involving the Billy Ballew Motorsports Craftsmen Truck hauler but after spending 20 years in the fire safety industry it is a serious subject with me. This most recent fire is one of four race car team haulers that have gone ablaze this season that I’m aware of. Wayne Taylor Racing’s Grand-Am team started the BBQing last May followed by JTG Daugherty in June. Penske’s IRL hauler melted down in August and the #51 team is #4.

Before any of you start thinking “Oh, they’re just torching some old junk for the insurance cash” I can assure you this happens several times a day along our nations highways. Why does it happen? I put the lion’s share of blame on the Feds. Without debating all the laws in place that are intended to “protect us” the one governing fire protection for our over the road interstate trucking industry is pathetic. All that is required is what amount to 2.5 pounds of baking soda in a pressurized soda can, retail value under $20. If I have to wear my helmet to ride my Harley, or hook up the seat belt to go down the block to check the mail, … “Oops sorry, no debating”, logic would tell you the Feds made sure you had a fire extinguisher in your 80,000 pound rig that could, you know, put out a fire.

Sadly nothing could be further from the truth, your local one chair barbershop most likely is required to have at least two and a half times the fire extinguishing power of the average semi. That brings us to the second biggest problem, US. Bad stuff happens to other people works real good for most of us until we are the other guy. If any NASCAR owners want to contact HammerHands please do, I can make sure you never lose another hauler. For the rest of US regular folks HH recommends a fire extinguisher in every level of your home and garage. If your fire extinguisher DOES NOT have a rubber hose it is not adequate for all but the smallest of fires. It is clock change time for most of us this weekend so that means it’s time for new batteries in your Smoke Detectors. Please also take a few minutes to protect your loved ones and prized possessions by visiting this site for a little education on fire, fire extinguishers and how to operate one. Fireextinguisher.com

OK I have to get at least one attempt per post at humor, DR’s orders as part of my anger management therapy. For those that haven’t heard, Jeremy Mayfield is considering buying into the Billy Ballew team and drive the #15 next year. Could the trucks have caught wind of this story and chose to spontaneously combust to avoid the slow burn that seemed to follow JM for most of his Cup career?

The Rainmaker starring Brian France

Now every town wants a NASCAR race. Well not actually the race, qualifying will do. Drought stricken communities worldwide are clamoring to get in on the rain that follows them every place. Are nine rain outs of qualifying a lot for less than a full season you ask? By a long shot.  (See Chart) It is tough enough watching the go or go home teams miss their opportunity to make a race due to weather but now the Chase leader gets the best pit stall handed to him based on points. It has been suggested that the Chase drivers draw their starting positions from a hat and set the rest of the field by points. What’s next, should a race get completely rained out does NASCAR just hand out the points based on owner standings?

Television and the big money that comes with it is a big part of the problem. Weekends now days are tightly choreographed productions and admittedly there is very little wiggle room in the schedule, but it must be found. During the regular season go or go homers should get a shot to make the field even if they have to stay over until Saturday, I’m sure they all would. Surely they could squeeze in 8- 10 cars for a lap or two and give them a shot at qualifying. It could get interesting if practice was a washout too but it beats loading up and heading home. Only the transport drivers get much experience from the wasted weekend and not many of them need the practice.

The same should be done for drivers in the Chase. HammerHands says wait as long as possible to at least allow the Chasers to qualify, even if it has to be done at 8A.M. on race day. I’m aware some time is needed to layout a pit stall but in the interest of fairness a change is necessary. Without the carrot of the “Shootout” the prestige of earning the pole still remains and every attempt should be made to make sure that effort determines pit selection. As a last resort a draw would set the top 12.

The rain outs have been great for Jimmy Johnson lately but RacinRumors hasn’t been able to confirm that the pic below was seen on the screen of a laptop in the 48 hauler. If we want to end these silly rain disruptions all of NASCAR Nation needs to apply rule #6.

GM’s Parade of Progress

What does the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile have to do with NASCAR or General Motors you ask? This marketing miracle from my youth is still going strong 72 years after the first one went on tour in 1936. HammerHands was searching the area events looking for something non- racin’ to do with Mrs. HH and saw this cool ride was touring one of the local grocery chain’s stores. I considered going but feared the disappointment if I couldn’t secure a Wienerwhistle that was a prized possesion of mine some four decades ago.

That got me thinking about a similar tour that began the same year by GM called the Parade of Progress. I was 12 maybe14 years old when I saw the first pics of this in the family photo album. There were a few others that included my Dad and me in a stroller. What caught my eye was pics of Chevys. Dad bled Ford blood blue in oval splats much like Jack Roush today and would never take a picture in front of one of them sumbitches. Mom confirmed later that not only did it happen, it was evidently a big deal. “Dad and all his Ford dealer buddies did thier own parade on the way out there ( San Bernadino,Ca -1956 ) we had the ‘55 then, and we all parked together and stood around to gather the troops” She never said so and to a man they wouldn’t admit it but I’m sure those Ford guys came away impressed.

For many readers the difficult economic time we are experiencing today is alarming, much as it was in the 1930’s when the world tried to rebound from the Great Depression. General Motors did it’s part to invigorate America by launching the Parade of Progress tour in 1936. For those who never got the chance to see this traveling show or sleep, pee and cry thru it like me here’s some video.

Rather than read some more sappy memories of mine enjoy some pics and stories from the hard working volunteers at FUTURELINER.com and have a little faith in mankind.

Is Scott Up To Speed

Should this door slammer racin’ not work out for Scott Speed and he has to turn to a life of crime cat burglar or pickpocket is off the list. Home invasion and mugging are more his style evidently. Discretion never was part of his personality and he showed none by deliberately wrecking Ricky Stenhouse Jr. and both of their chance at the ARCA Series title Sunday at Toledo Speedway for one reason. “Honestly, it’s just ARCA, that’s just how it is.” For every other competitor it’s not just ARCA but a way of life or way to the top.

Not many racers can burn a bridge like Scott Speed. When he was on the brink of his mutual firing from the Toro Rosso F1 team he shared his frustration, “As far as my future in F1 is concerned, you couldn’t pay me enough money to race for those two people again. If it was with a different team, that would be great, but I would also like to do something else with Red Bull, even if it was outside F1.”  Despite the fact his situation was less than ideal it is never a good idea to bash your current or former boss in the media.

Peter Windsor, British F1 television commentator and knowledgeable insider was asked about Speed’s chippy (Webster describes as: aggressively belligerent; marked by much fighting) reputation. “I liked him very much,” Windsor says. “Some thought him cocky, a bit arrogant, but a driver should not be judged on his behavior outside the car. He’s perhaps not quite self-critical enough, but I put that down to Red Bull’s poor coaching. They should have taught him the benefit of tough self-assessment. Instead, they just shout and scream and demand results—a very difficult group. But he should definitely still be on the team.”  Well this is NASCAR and everything you do on or off track is judged and vital to your ability to remain at the top level.

Jay Frye has done a remarkable job bringing the Red Bull team forward and somewhat temper the heat from an impatient owner who still shouts and screams and demands results. I believe he lobbied hard to keep A.J. Almindinger in the car not only because he deserved it so as not have to deal with Speed full time next season.

“Formula One was always my dream, always way above NASCAR,” he told USA Today. “In my mind, I have accomplished what I’m going to in my life. This [stock car racing] is a personal challenge. If I don’t make it, I wouldn’t feel any worse than if I did, honestly. I did absolutely nothing in F1, but I’m 1,000 per cent satisfied. It’s like going to college of the world. I never went to college, but I know a lot because I had the opportunity to live in Europe and travel the world.”

This doesn’t sound like a young gun looking to make his mark in NASCAR. His apparent disrespect for stock car racing has his future in doubt before it begins.